Now my live is so terrible than ever, i know not why it's all hapened unto myself. I have nobody to share about, even i have no hope any in this live... hope? it's for along time gone from mine..., after junior high.., after i'd been dumped by the one that i love so god damned much.....!! Since that time, i became pesimisstic person about love first and then about whole live either...
I knew that you've been press, inside of me.., am sorry for that. I know when you're cry.., i feelin every single feelin of yours... but i can do nothing to stop it continually... Cause i have no power to do that.., and The Power that i lie down do nothing to me. i know not, maybe He's angry or what.., one thing for sure He's let me pick all of it at my shoulder alone... Deserve i to get angry with His..?
One day in the early morning, am still wake up, i can't close my eyes yet..., i know not why ... probably cause i took a long of a nap... but, this became my habbit... today am so lost of my feeling.., just like another day of my live... i never cares about my live.., i never cares about mine.., but i do cares about my feeling... sometimes my feeling take a big part of my live.., besides of ratio of course... These all begin when am at junior high, at that time am so in love with a girl.., ... She is my first love, and till now i can not forget hers... i still remember her face, her eyes, her body... but she's rejected me so cruelly.., she's dump me...! i know, am not a good looking guy at all, but am still a human being that have a feeling inside, right??? my heart totally broken when i know that she's hate me.., am ran away to a place that i called "A Fantasy island", a place where there's no painfull, or rejected.., A place which there's only a peacefullness..... Am for along time stay there..,
It's been for along time i feel so, so Lonely.., but always i keep it for my self. Cause nobody cares about my feeling, about me and myself... don't asking about my family, They never cares about me..! I had a thought that the only "Person" cares to me only "DRUGS"... That's why am so dificult when am tryin to realease it... Yea, I AM A JUNKIE..., A RECOVERY ONE... i believe the word that said, "Once you're a junkie, you're always be a junkie". So, there's no ex-junkie... So, if there's a people say that he's an ex-junkie, it's nothing but a bullshit...!!